28th July 2015

Creating Low Budget Entertainment For Fun & Profit

11th January 2013

Duck 450px

By: STEPHEN W PARSONS writer/director/composer

"The major entertainment pipelines have been seized by a conspiracy of the dull. If you wish to make anything without interference, you had better make sure that you can produce it cheaply".

COLIN THE CASUAL DUCK is a deliberate slap in the face to the patient and accurate stop-motion made by such Oscar winning outfits as HARDMAN ANIMATION. Their patient painstaking approach leads to deadly dull film making. I believe that by simply pushing toy characters around on a mixture of table-top set I can improvise in real time to create a free-flowing and entertaining comedy series.


NQM has now produced the pilot episode of Colin the Casual Duck. Using cutting edge camera technology the 5 min film features crudely animated toy characters performing on tabletop sets, with a sprinkling of natural exteriors in order to emphasise that these toys live in the real world.

The central character Colin (a distinctive rubber duck) is proud of his stylish appearance, dangerously witty and quick to anger, in fact a robust exponent of all of the seven deadly sins. His life philosophy is simple: the pursuit of pleasure. Now that he is rich from swindling greedy International Banks, Colin prefers to enjoy life to the max inside the bright and colourful walls of his London residence.

Tension is created by his supporting cast of family and friends, who believe that Colin is 'missing out on something' by never leaving the house. Of course the reverse is true. His little haven is a constant riot of both vulgar comedy and fierce drama. And even the drama is funny.

The pilot is intended to launch an ongoing series of cheaply produced episodes for a variety of formats including mobile downloads, internet pay for view, satellite, and terrestrial broadcast. It is worth noting that THE SIMPSONS was initially broadcast only as a brief irreverent segment of THE TRACY ULLMAN SHOW, likewise Colin could fit into any stripped format TV show and be dubbed for any nationality.

The IPR potential for this show is enormous. Colin and his distinctive supporting cast are ripe for exploitation in other media such as toys, video games, I Phone apts, comic books etc. The catchy theme tune is a perfect length for ring-tones and can be arranged in a variety of styles. Product placement will certainly offer some interesting possibilities! The truth is that even though Colin will be clearly labelled as an adult comedy we expect that a large share of the audience will be young males, who have the natural desire, and ability, to find exactly the material they are not supposed to see.

N.B. The pilot episode, intended either to be downloaded or watched free of charge, contains several trademark characters in order to strengthen the perception of Colin as a star with a subversive nature. All following episodes produced for commercial broadcast will replace these characters with well known out-of-copyright properties such as Dracula, The Wizard of Oz, Popeye the Sailor Man etc.

Future episodes will see Colin spend a lost weekend alone with only booze induced delusions for company, hire an Atomic Russian Bear to deal with a slippery ghost, invite a well known real-life rock band to play a concert outside his house (so he can watch from the window), discover the mummified penis of the Egyptian God Osiris beneath the floorboards of his kitchen and have size defying affairs with real life celebrities such as Abbie Titmus and Pixie Geldorf.

We are in discussion with Lemmy from Motorhead and Mick Jones from the Clash to appear in the rock band episode. These celebrity cameos can be effortlessly woven into the unique format of the show and we believe that if the project has 'the smell of success' then any celebrity who values their hip quotient would be foolish to resist our no-money invitation.

Colin's aggressively rebel nature and his mini adventures, which cross space, time and genres provide enough story-forming opportunities to keep an ongoing series resonant for years.

The episodes themselves can be produced in batches of 10 at a cost of a thousand pounds per show. We believe that the show itself will be profitable, but that the real harvest will come from the ancillary rights contained in both the unique concept and the highly marketable cast of characters.

Timing is everything in show business and a focused media campaign is essential to capture the attention span of the contemporary audience. We intend to launch Colin over a 5 day period through a variety of co-ordinated events aimed at gaining maximum coverage in all media.